Help! My child is being stubborn and has difficulty paying attention!
When working with children with speech and language delays, sometimes they demonstrate difficulties with attending to a task and/or processing the information that was spoken. When this happens, the child may appear to be “stubborn” by not following an adult’s direction. Sometimes, they may appear to “ignore” your question by quickly changing the subject, OR they try to talk in unison with you as you comment about a picture or toy.
If I start to see these behaviors, I quickly shift therapy to focus on attention strategies. Here are several strategies that can help your child focus, process information, and respond more appropriately to questions during play-based activities. Note that you don’t necessarily need to do all of these. Instead, try some of these on their own to see how they work with your child.
Alert the child by calling his name, pause, provide a tactile cue if needed (ie, hand on the shoulder), and wait for him to look before giving him a direction.
Keep tasks closed-ended (rather than open-ended) so she knows when the task will end. Examples: “We will get 5 stars and then play _____” or “three more, then all done!”
Give direct and short instructions for the task. Reduce verbal instruction. Repeat instructions step by step if necessary and allow time for him to process the information. Also use gestures when possible (ie, point to the object). Examples: “get ball” vs “go get the ball over there!”
Provide examples by modeling or demonstrating, and leave the example on display. Emphasize key words. Example: “Put the ball UNDER the table.”
Boost self-confidence by giving the child positive feedback.
Be repetitive. Examples: “We are going to the store. Let’s go to the store. Here we go… we are going to the store, that is where we are going!”
Allow the child to repeat statements to himself or with you to help boost confidence and understanding of the task. Examples: We are going to the store… your turn! Now you tell me, we are going to the ____” (child says: the store).
Avoid asking questions and mainly give statements.
Reduce the cognitive load for the child by having him fill in the blank to increase comprehension and expressive language skills. Examples: “Look! There is the park! (give a gesture/clue by pointing to the location). We are going to the ____” (pregnant pause, look at child with anticipation. Child says: park!).
Give short breaks between activities to help the child avoid fatigue.
Obviously trying to do each of these for every setting and/or activity is impossible. Some tactics may work better than others for your child, though, so try them at different times to see what works best for you and your child. Once he or she can attend to a task, the child will process information and demonstrate great improvements in overall speech and language development.